College Life: Dating, Drinking and Deen???

• Freedom. Young people live for the day when they can move out of the house and go to college and finally be free. Freedom from their parents, from restrictions on their lifestyle, from everyone telling them what to do.

• This is why in college you find a whole generation that does what they want. Life's short they say, let's enjoy ourselves while we can.

• So it goes for Muslims. In college you find the most amazing things, Muslims who don't pray, Muslims who date , go out to parties and drink.

• Why is this happening?

• For one, when students go off to university they finally realize that what they beleived in was blind. Religion becomes like a fairytale, when they got old enough, they knew better than to believe in it.

• Most have little knowledge about Islam and have maybe memorized the right rituals to get by. Why beleive something on faith, they ask. After all we cannot see heaven or hell. How do we know Islam is right anyway?

• Islamic culture to them means marrying someone they never knew. It means arranged marriages and never hanging out or having fun.
• For girls Islamic culture has even less to offer. It would mean double standards or having to serve a husband the rest of her life.

• The western alternative to this looks alot more attractive.

• In western culture "love and romance" are supposedly everywhere. Everyone is out looking for love freely. Meeting someone, going out, seeking pleasure sounds alot better.
• But what about the downside? For love at first sight, you need to have the right image, the right hair, the right clothes.

• Girls have to aspire to be like the latest supermodels, they have to hold back age. Who's going out with who, what are my friends thinking, what will happen if I don't get the right girl or guy, what is my girlfriend or boyfriend thinking, all become important.
• Frustration, desperation, and unhappiness become the norm

• Imagine all the heartache youth would save if they followed the Islamic alternative.

• In true Islam, unlike culture, there is no gameplaying. If two people wish to be involved they are both straight with one another.

• Unlike what goes on today amongst some Muslims, they both meet each other and make a contract to marry. Women are treated with respect, there is no sexual bombardment like there is in western society. Sex in western culture is also often seen as a vice or a sin of the flesh. But even in religious Islam, sex is seen as natural. As long as it is in the right circumstances, when the two are committed to one another in marriage.

• Drinking in college is also the norm unfortunately. If you don't drink or party you're seen as weird. Drinking is cool and a way for people to socialize, meet and have fun. The one who doesn't is less of a person and 'misses out'. Drinking and all the harms that come with it is cut off at the root in Islam. So many problems are avoided, accidents, pregnancy, violence and even rape for example.

• In college and in the world, success in life is not seen in terms of religion. It is seen as what other people think, one's careers, how much money they make. If you are religious you must have failed at life. But why do we have this seperation? and this blindness in religion?
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• The Quran tells us again and again not to have blind faith, not to folllow the religion of our forefathers.

• Yet, we as Muslims have stopped thinking. We may think about what our friends or other people will say, but we avoid thinking about the real issues.
• We spend so much time on the opposite sex, thinking about careers, money etc, but we forget to think about death and how much of this we will really be able to take with us?

• "Every soul shall have a taste of death and only on the Day of Judgement shall you be paid your full recompense...for the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception"
• (Quran 3:185)

• Shouldn't we take the time to comtemplate what will happen to us after we hit the grave? After all, what is the point of life if we are not accountable for our actions? If there is no creator, what is the point of being honest or good.
• If we really look at our life we see that everything is indefinate, getting a job, even living until tomorrow. In fact we could die anytime, this is a definate, the _only_ dead certain thing in our life.

• Most of us believe we can make up for our actions later or we can be religious later.
• We are gambling.
• The chances of our dying today are little, but the stakes are high. Allah reminds us of the importance of this,

• "O you who beleive, obey Allah as he should be obeyed, and die not except in a state of Islam"
• (Quran3:102)

• Each of us needs to decide.
• On the Day of Judgement it will be us alone who will be asked about our actions.
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• "Verily We have revealed the Book to thee in truth, for (instructing) mankind. He, then that receives guidance beinfits his own soul: but he that strays injurs his own soul..."
• (Quran 39:41)

• This is the true definition of freedom. To learn about Islam and the world openly. To contemplate about life and death. And after learning the truth, obeying the word of God.

• "Those on whom knowledge has been bestowed may learn that the (Quran) is the truth from your Lord, and that they beleive therein, and their hearts may be made humbly (open)to it..."
• (Quran 22:54)

• Once students have this rock-solid intellectual beleif in Islam, the corruptness and falseness of the people around them is clear. The beauty and wisdom of the islamic way, the best alternative is clear. What other's do is of less importance. If others think they were weird to pray or weird to be honest, they would still pray and still be honest because they know their deen.
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• Our Quran's are left on the top shelves, gathering dust. Sometimes the most it is read is when someone dies. How is this to help, when the guidance comes too late. The Quran is for the living. The path to understanding and following Islam comes from learning first.

• How many of us are Muslim, yet have never read the Quran in our native language?
• How many of us are Muslim, yet have yet to open a book on hadith or sunnah?
• How many of us defend Islam to non-Muslims, but do not follow it ourselves?
• May Allah forgive and lead us and all those lost to the straight path.
• InshaAllah.
• Ameen.

I Love…

I love leading a salaah only to turn at the end to find more sitting behind me

I love when people I have never met give me salaam

I love to share attar with those next to me

I love my face on the floor

I love being honored as a guest

I love being a servant

I love listening to children call each other by the names of Sahaabah

I love watching reverts learn

I love fasting without others knowing

I love being corrected by others

I love that my Lord is close to me night and day

I love my mother asking me if I’ve eaten

I love that my father calls me his son

I love the raindrop as it hits the window

I love sickness

I love my neighbours asking from me

I love my nieces in their little hijaabs

I love when they fast a bit today, a bit tomorrow to put it together to make a full one

I love that Hellfire will establish justice and welcome the oppressors

I love that a wound heals

I love every tear that falls from fear and regret

I love learning a name of Allah

I love the leaf that falls from the tree seeking permission before it does so

I love watching ants work in unison

I love looking at my hand marveling at the creation

I love every second that Allah keeps me safe

I love that my blind brother has patience and seeks his reward

I love keeping the company of the righteous

I love the scholars

I love that the poor have a provider and the rich will be reckoned

I love being in awe of a hadith

I love learning of the practice of the predecessors

I love that in the heat of the midday my sisters will not compromise

I love that a person will return home for his Quran

I love that every soul shall be measured and given its due

I love that dua is accepted while I’m travelling

I love that Aisha (ra) is our mother

I love sleeping in the Masjid

I love that my black brother stands foot to foot with my white brother

I love that my mother makes a sweet dish the morning of ‘Eid

I love that I am allowed to smile after heartache

I love fetching the shoes of the elderly in the mosque

I love sitting and starring at the Ka’bah like my long lost love

I love keeping my tongue moist with dhikr

I love that sneezes are a blessing from my Lord

I love lowering my gaze knowing that I will be given better

I love that by Allah’s Mercy I stand a chance of entering Jannah

I love to hear and obey

I love that my Lord loves to be asked

I love contentment

I love knowing that Paradise is eternal

I love that my sins are hidden

I love that Islam is the truth in every language of the world…

cassie returned to faith

My name is Cassie, I am 23 years old

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
*The beautiful story of a real-life sister*

My name is Cassie, I am 23 years old. I graduated as a qualified nurse this year and was given my first position as a home nurse.

My patient was an English gentleman in his early 80s who suffered from Alzheimer’s. In the first meeting I was given the patient’s record and from it could see that he was a convert to the religion of Islam, therefore he was a Muslim.

I knew from this that I would need to take into account some modes of treatment that my go against his faith, and therefore try to adapt my care to meet his needs. I brought in some ‘halal’ meat to cook for him and ensured that there was no pork or alcohol in the premises as I did some research which showed that these were forbidden in Islam.

My patient was at a very advanced stage of his condition so a lot of my colleagues could not understand why I was going to so much effort for him, but I understood that a person who commits to a faith deserves that commitment to be respected, even if they are not in a position to understand.

Anyway after a few weeks with my patient I began to notice some patterns of movement.

At first I thought it was some copied motions he’d seen someone do, but I saw him repeat the movements at particular times; morning, afternoon, evening.

The movements were to raise his hands, bow and then put his head to the ground. I could not understand it. He was also repeating sentences in another language, I couldn’t figure out what language it was as his speech was slurred but I know the same verses were repeated daily.

Also there was something strange, he didnt allow me to feed him with my left hand [I am left-handed].

Somehow I knew this linked to his religion but didn’t know how.

One of my colleagues told me about paltalk as a place for debates and discussions and as I did not know any Muslims except for my patient I thought it would be good to speak to some live and ask questions. I went on the Islam section and entered the room ‘True Message’.

Here I asked questions regarding the repeated movements and was told that these were the actions of prayer, I did not really believe it until someone posted a link of the Islamic prayer on youtube.

I was shocked.

A man who has lost all memory of his children, of his occupation, and could barely eat and drink was able to remember not only actions of prayer but verses that were in another language.

This was nothing short of incredible and I knew that this man was devout in his faith, which made me want to learn more in order to care for him the best I could.

I came into the paltalk room as often as I could and was given a link to read the translation of the Quran and listen to it.

The chapter of the ‘Bee’ gave me chills and I repeated it several times a day.

I saved a recording of the Quran on my iPod and gave it to my patient to listen to, he was smiling and crying, and in reading the translation I could see why.

I applied what I gained from paltalk to my care for my patient but gradually found myself coming to the room to find answers for myself.

I never really took the time to look at my life; I never knew my father, my mother died when I was 3, me and my brother were raised by our grandparents who died 4 years ago, so now it’s just the two of us.

But despite all this loss, I always thought I was happy, content.

I was only after spending time with my patient that felt like I was missing something. I was missing that sense of peace and tranquillity my patient, even through suffering felt.

I wanted that sense of belonging and a part of something that he felt, even with no one around him.

I was given a list of mosques in my area by a lady on paltalk and went down to visit one. I watched the prayer and could not hold back my tears.

I felt drawn to the mosque every day and the imam and his wife would give me books and tapes and welcome any questions I had.

Every question I asked at the mosque and on paltalk was answered with such clarity and depth that could do nothing but accept them.

I have never practiced a faith but Always believed that there was a God; I just did not know how to worship Him.

One evening I came on paltalk and one of the speakers on the mic addressed me. He asked me if I have any questions, I said no. He asked if I was happy with the answers I was given, I said yes.

He asked then what was stopping me accepting Islam, I could not answer.

I went to the mosque to watch the dawn prayer the imam asked me the same question, I could not answer.

I then went to tend to my patient, I was feeding him and as I looked in his eyes I just realized, he was brought to me for a reason and the only thing stopping me from accepting was fear…. not fear in the sense of something bad, but fear of accepting something good, and thinking that I was not worthy like this man.

That afternoon I went to the mosque and asked the imam if I could say my declaration of faith, the Shahaadah.

He helped me through it was I was shown how to walk and guided through would I would need to do next.

I cannot explain the feeling I felt when I said it.

It was like someone woke me up from sleep and sees everything more clearly.

The feeling was overwhelming joy, clarity and most of all…. peace.

The first person I told was not my brother but my patient.

I went to him, and before I even opened my mouth he cried and smiled at me.

I broke down in front of him, I owed him so much.

I came home logged on to paltalk and repeated the shahaadah for the room.

They all helped me so much and even though I had never seen a single one of them, they felt closer to me then my own brother.

I did eventually call my brother to tell him and although he was wasn’t happy, he supported me and said he would be there, I couldn’t ask for any more.

After my first week as a Muslim my patient passed away in his sleep while I was caring for him. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon.

He died a peaceful death and I was the only person with him.

He was like the father I never had and he was my doorway to Islam.

From the day of my Shahaadah to this very day and for every day for as long as I live, I will pray that Allah shows mercy on him and grant him every good deed I perform in the tenfold.

I loved him for the sake of Allah and I pray each night to become an atoms weight of the Muslim he was.

Islam is a religion with an open door; it is there for those who want to enter it…. Verily Allah is the Most Merciful, Most Kind.

 * Note *

Our sister Cassie passed away October 2010, inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon, after she gave da’wah to her brother who had accepted Islam.

Alhamdulillah.

May Allah s.w.t grant sister Cassie Paradise, Ameen

Lovesickness

Lovesickness

By no means is love a sickness in and of itself. Indeed, it is the only known cure for many of the problems and ailments that we as human beings suffer from. However, love can turn into an illness if it becomes obsessive, if it goes beyond its proper bounds, or if the object of love is not worthy. When such a situation develops, love indeed becomes a sickness requiring a remedy.
It is Allah’s order in the world that he sends down to it no affliction without sending down with it its cure. Love is no exception.

The treatment of this illness is as follows:

1. As with all diseases, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
This is why we must lower our gazes and resist taking a second glance at a member of the opposite sex who attracts us. Allah says: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That will make for greater purity for them, and Allah is acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity…” [Sûrah al-Nûr: 30-31]
We can see how Allah first issues the command to believing men, then repeats the command for believing women, thus emphasizing the importance of lowering our gazes. The fact that Allah addresses members of each sex individually shows just how important and relevant this matter is to people of both sexes. Indeed, these verses are one of the few occasions where Allah addresses men and women separately in the Qur’ân.
The look is the beginning that can lead to progressively greater ills. This is why Allah mentions it first, and then follows it up with the command for us to guard our chastity.
A poet long ago observed:
A glance, a smile, a friendly hello,
Some chatting, a date, then off they go!
If some of us find it difficult to carry out this command, they should write these verses down on a sheet of paper and hang them on their wall or place them on the dashboard – whatever it takes to remind them.

2. Thinking about the consequences is often a sobering dose of medicine.
The ability to think about the far-reaching consequences of our actions is one of the distinctive qualities that set humanity apart from other animals. This is why a person just does not go ahead and do everything that tickles his fancy. He first has to think about what is behind it and what will come of it.
For instance, he might pause to think, before embarking upon a certain course of action, that if he does so, he might succumb to AIDS. He might reflect upon how that dreaded disease has already claimed tens of millions of lives, how some of those who were careful – who chose only one sexual partner who even had an AIDS test – nevertheless came down with the disease.
How many people like that do we hear about, some of whom come out and admit that the disease befell them as a punishment from Allah, and hoping that it might at least expiate for their sin?
The same can be said for all the other sexually transmitted diseases. The worst thing of all is to think that an indiscreet man can infect his pious, faithful, and chaste wife with one of these vile diseases.
Another consequence to think about is pregnancy. A man who had repented for his sins once admitted to me that he had intentionally chosen to involve himself with a woman who was sterile. Regardless, Allah wanted her to fall pregnant and she did.
We should not be heedless of the consequences of our actions. Does anyone want to be responsible for someone coming into this world with no idea who his father is; someone who starts out life already disadvantaged?
Maybe one of us will pay the price for his misdeed in this world. Maybe he will get away with it here, going through life unrepentant and unscathed, only to be humiliated for it before the eyes of all on the Day of Judgment.
Some of the evil consequences of this behavior are psychological in nature. A man, once enamored of women, gets to the point that he can never be satisfied. He eternally craves variety and no degree of beauty is enough. Because of this, he may find himself eternally forbidden the lawful pleasure to be found within marriage. His senses and his sentiments have all been dulled.
Some young men travel abroad and spend their time in the company of prostitutes and other women of ill repute, but if one of them were ever to hear that his wife back home so much as looked at another man indiscreetly, he would divorce her on the spot.
One man lamented: “I would forsake all the women of the world for the sake of one woman whom I knew would get worried if I came home at night a little bit late.” This is the sentiment of any man who possesses wisdom.


3. The communion of lawful love is the best cure of all.
All of the stories of love that we find in our literature – whether it be that of Jamîl and Buthaynah, Kuthayyir and `Azzah, Qays and Laylâ, or for that matter their English equivalent Romeo and Juliet – deal with the anguish of unrequited love.
Allah has placed in what is lawful all that we need so we can dispense with what He has made unlawful. It provides the most fulfilling, satisfying, and deepest expression of love.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “We see for those who are in love nothing better than marriage.” [Sunan Ibn Mâjah (1847) and Mustadrak Hâkim (2724) with a good chain of transmission]
Lawful matrimony is what brings healing to the heart and removes its disquiet. If it is not written for a certain man and women to come together in matrimony, each of them should have faith that there are many others out there with whom Allah can enrich them with a meaningful and loving relationship.

4. Resignation and a willingness to forsake what is wrong.
No matter how painful it may be to part, it is sometimes necessary. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever maintains his chastity, does so with the grace of Allah. Whoever finds self-sufficiency does so with what Allah has enriched him. Whoever is patient draws his fortitude from Allah. And no one has been given a gift better or more bountiful than patience.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (1469) and Sahîh Muslim (1053)]
Whoever gives something up for Allah’s sake should know that Allah will give him in its stead something far better.


5. Channeling one’s energies and abilities into what is nobler, more precious, and sublime – the love of Allah
We express this love by bringing benefit to His creatures, by our obedience to Him, by our prayers, our fasts, our remembrance of Him, our supplications, and our humility. We do so by keeping the company of righteous people and by aspiring to the noblest and most beneficial of goals.
We should channel our energies into what benefits us in our worldly lives and in our faith. Allah says: “Seek Allah’s help with patience and perseverance. It is indeed difficult except upon those who are humble.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 45]
He says: “Whoever puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is Allah for him.” [Sûrah al-Talâq: 3]
A heart that is full of concern for others will be a heart that is full of love – but not a slave to love. It is an empty heart that falls stricken for any visitor who graces its doorstep.
We should take full advantage of our lives and be as productive as possible. We need to develop our talents, our minds, and put our creativity into practice. Yes! Be enamored – but be enamored of truth and knowledge. Be fully in love – but be in love with righteousness.

A Too Narrow View of Religiousness

A Too-Narrow View of Religiousness

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Muslims share the principle of monotheism and the basis of their collective faith. Though they have this in common, they differ in the degree of their religiousness and piety – or the degree of their sinfulness and iniquity. Some are truly oppressors of their own souls, some are eager to do righteous deeds, and others are somewhere in between. This disparity between Muslims does not take any one of them outside of the bonds of loyalty and affection that must exist among them. All of them are promised “gardens of eternity that they shall enter”. Even those who are iniquitous to their own souls will ultimately find admission into Paradise.

There are many ways a person can be iniquitous to his own soul.There are in fact as many ways to do so as there are ways to be sinful. The same can be said about righteousness. There are numerous ways to be good. Just like the Hellfire has seven gates, Paradise has eight. There will be people called to each of these gates; some will even be called to all of the gates of Paradise. This shows us that there is more than one manifestation of righteousness. It does not have a single face. We cannot paint a single picture and say: “This is what it means to be righteous. There is nothing else.”

However, there are those who take a certain mode of dress and outward appearance and use it as the sole measure of a person’s piety. Narrowing the notion of religiousness to outward appearances instead of the essence of a person – whereby outward appearances become the sole qualifying factor for religiousness so that its presence requires nothing else and its absence cannot be compensated fro by anything else – is one of the major errors of the current Islamic awakening.

The Islamic awakening has brought changes to society far beyond a change in appearance. It has been an awakening in belief, in intellectual discourse, in methodology, in ethics, and in emotional sentiment. Nevertheless, the terminology that has been born of this awakening – like the term “religiousness” – do not embrace such a wide spectrum of meanings or express the total effect that the awakening has had on people. These terms remain as restricted in scope and superficial in meaning as the day they were first coined.

The term “religiousness” is restricted to outward appearance. The two are so intrinsically tied together that whoever looks the look is instantly declared religious and pious, whatever his shortcomings might be. Likewise, whoever fails to look the look in every important way is stripped of the epithet of religiousness. All his other good qualities will not redeem this honor for him, no matter how much more important than appearance those qualities might be.

We can see how offhand and arbitrary such judgments are, honors conferred after a cursory glace at a person’s appearance and style. Such observations are, in truth, mute. They tell us nothing about what the person says or does, and it is a person’s words and deeds that really tell us what that person is all about. However, these summary judgments take hold of one tongue after another, until they become the standards by which people gauge piety and virtue.

Admittedly, we have nothing to go on in assessing the character of other people aside from what they outwardly exhibit. As `Umar said: “We but hold you to account for what is apparent to us from your deeds.” However, we need to understand that it is the deeds the moral conduct, and what a person says that make up this outer aspect of a person, not his mere outward appearance. A person’s “look” indicates nothing more or less than itself. It asserts nothing else. It negates nothing else. It provides no source of praise or condemnation outside of itself. `Umar had spoken about deeds, not about dress and appearances.

Religiousness is not restricted to the trappings of the body, but is rather the sentiments, emotions, and tendencies that emanate from the heart and translate into the outward behavior of the limbs. If loyalties are maintained through a narrow circle of outward trappings, society will split into small, factions that are antagonistic, or at the very least, uncooperative with one another. These divisions tend to keep growing to the point that the people feel that they have nothing shared between them.

Therefore, it is imperative that we put matters of outward appearance in the proper perspective that Islam depicts for them. We should not neglect those matters or belittle their importance. They are outward expressions of faith. Those who uphold them do right and those who violate Islamic teachings regarding them do wrong. But that is the extent of it. Those who adopt these manners do not deserve to have every perfection and virtue attributed to them for doing so. Nor should these matters be treated as if they were basic principles of faith upon which our loyalties and our disavowal, our love and enmity, should be based. Just as no one has a right to belittle the teachings of our faith pertaining to outward appearances, equally no one has the right to magnify their importance and declare people righteous and ignoble on their account alone.

No sane person can dispute the fact that the presence of some righteous characteristics in a person does not necessarily mean that he is inwardly wholly righteous. Likewise the absence of some righteous characteristic does not mean that the person is inwardly unrighteous. If all of us are able to recognize this simple fact, then why do some of us make such outward indications of piety the decisive factor as to where we place our loyalty and friendship?

A person can be lacking in some virtuous quality or another, but possess other good qualities that are far more important. A person may have a pure heart, a tongue that restrains itself from licentiousness and evil speech, sound ideas, good character towards others, generosity in charitable spending, fastidiousness in prayer, and integrity in fulfilling his duties to others. Should all of these mighty qualities be cast aside because the person falls short in his outward appearance?

Should not a person possessing such noble qualities be dearer to our hearts than someone lese who has the look of “religiousness” down to a tee, but whose character possesses such ugly qualities that his outward appearances can never hope to mask – like someone who is overbearing towards others, foul and abusive of speech, who denies people their rights, is envious, and who despises and thinks ill of his fellows?
We need to rectify the notion of religiousness that people have. They need to realize that it is not restricted to a few, specific rules pertaining to outward appearance, nor is it the exclusive possession of some group that distinguishes themselves by the way they look. In this way, we will protect ourselves from being fooled by appearances – a trick well used by con men to gain favor with those they wish to deceive.

By rectifying our notion of religiousness, we will also be able to do away with the aversion that people show to each other on the account of their cursory judgments that do not go beyond a first prejudice glance.
Finally, I do not want anyone to misunderstand me and think that I am taking the religious teachings regarding our appearance as unimportant or that I am saying it is alright to neglect those matters. That is not what I am saying. I am only saying that the importance of these matters should not be exaggerated to the extent that other important matters are trivialized.